The Problem I have with Jimmer...

It has been fun to see Jimmer have a great year and collect a ton of awards. As much as I've enjoy watching him play, I recently realized there is something about him I don't appreciate. Because of his ridiculous shooting range, there are now countless young men trying to copy him and shoot three pointers a good 3-10 feet behind the three point line. Why is this a problem? Because they always seem to be guys that I'm stuck with on my team when I play pickup games!

Just today I had a kid on my team who was literally shooting 40 foot shots during our game. Seriously? They were more like Hail Mary passes than basketball shots. It's starting to rub off on everyone and it only gets reinforced when they occasionally make one.

Not many people can even attempt to dunk the ball from the free throw line, but any deluded soul can take 3 point shots that are well beyond their range. I've got a bad feeling that this is only going to get worse. Why do all the Jimmer wanna-be players always have to be on my team?

Basketball + Wrestling = Entertainment

I think it is time that we combine two of the most entertaining sports into the perfect hybrid. I'm talking about  the NBA and the WWE. Can you imagine mixing the athletic plays of the NBA with the theatrics of professional wrestling?

If we could replace David Stern with Vince McMahon just imagine how much more exciting things would be. I know he already attempted this with the XFL, but he was looking at the wrong sport. Here are ten reasons why this merger would make the NBA more exciting.

1. The pyrotechnic introductions and theme music for each team would be improved. They'd swagger in from the portal instead of the customary introduction from the bench.

2. We'd see much more passionate interviews. Instead of the standard generic catch phrases and boring interviews, we'd hear inflammatory rhetoric and passionate speeches.

3. There would be improved behind the scenes locker room footage as we got a sneak peak of how players were planning to conspire against their rivals.

4. If you thought Joey Crawford missed some calls in the past, just wait until he is being distracted by Paul Pierce while Kevin Garnett has Chris Bosh in a choke hold.

5. The teams would get new exciting names. Boring names like Pacers, Knicks, Cavs would be replaced with Team Fury, The Punishers, and Shock and Awe. They'd also get new and improved costumes uniforms.

6. Each player would have a signature move or shot they would finish their opponent off with.

7. Folding chairs, tables, and ladders might occasionally make their way onto the court which would make things more dangerous and exciting.

8. Players might suddenly turn against their teammates and switch alliances to the opposing team in the middle of a game.

9. No more wimpy stuff like 3 seconds in the key, hanging on the rim, or technical fouls!

10. This sport would be a perfect place for many of the already expert floppers of the NBA to further showcase their acting skills.

Karl Malone and Dennis Rodman didn't even scratch the surface of this opportunity back when they gave it a shot.

The All-Caveman Team

Over the years I've noticed that some NBA players do a better job of maintaining a clean appearance than others. Some players might look scruffy, but a select few take the neglected look to a whole new level. Here are 5 guys I think would qualify for the NBA All-Caveman team. I am not necessarily saying these guys ugly. The caveman look is self imposed. They all look much better when they are cleaned up.

Pau Gasol- I can't watch a Lakers game anymore without wishing I could make Gasol get a shave and haircut.

Robin Lopez- I saw him freaking out on the sidelines earlier this season and he looked like a caveman who had seen fire for the first time.

Joakim Noah- I didn't like his long hair when he was in college and it's only gotten worse as he's combined it with splotchy facial hair. 

Dirk Nowitzki- He's experimented with the entire spectrum over the years and has gone from a buzz haircut to this hippy look.

Andrew Bogut- I like him as a player, but he has recently adopted the caveman look.

I'll be the first to admit that these guys are great basketball players and I hate to judge them by their appearance, but sometimes I can't tell if I'm watching Quest for Fire or an NBA game.

The Beauty of an Assist

It's always exciting to score when you are playing basketball, but there are times when dishing out a nice assist can be even more satisfying than scoring. Getting the ball to the right player at the right time is a huge part of the game. I appreciate a good assist as much as I do a great block or dunk.

Some of my favorite NBA players who have dished out thousands of assists and turned it into an art form include: Magic Johnson, Isaiah Thomas, Larry Bird, John Stockton, Gary Payton, Mark Jackson, Jason Kidd, and Steve Nash. Here are some recent assist highlights from last month in the NBA.

The Big Dance Expanded

With the excitement of the NCAA tournament upon us, I'd like to share one of my favorite clips from the Onion about expanding the tournament.

March Madness 2011

Few sporting events generate as much excitement as the first several weeks of the NCAA basketball tournament. Nothing is more exciting than the upsets during March Madness. I remember when Steve Nash's Santa Clara team upset Arizona years ago, but the greatest upset had to be Villanova beating Georgetown for the title back in 1985.

March Madness may generate a lot of money for the  participating teams, but it also costs a lot of money to employers as some employees mysteriously become less productive during the month as a result of checking scores, watching games, and talking about their brackets. The pools I have participated in never really gambled for money, but rather small prizes and pride.

My frustration with filling out the tournament brackets and making predictions is that I know too much. Every year the people in the office who follow basketball, understand the teams, and know the odds seem to get smoked by the girl who hates sports but makes her team predictions according to who has the best uniforms or the cutest mascots. It's still a pretty safe bet to pick Duke, North Carolina, Kansas, Indiana and UCLA most years.

The other great thing about the big dance is the intensity and passion of the college players. They put NBA players to shame when it comes to effort. If you don't win, there is no second chance unlike a best of 7 series in the Pros and many of the players know that their career is over after the tournament so they have nothing to lose. I can't wait to see some underdogs pull off some upsets.

NBA Trades

Last night I was watching NBA highlights from games over the past several days. I could not believe how many players had been affected by the recent trades. Carmelo Anthony and Deron Williams were all big news last week, but I had no idea how many other players had also switched teams.

As I was watching highlights I kept doing double takes as I'd notice players wearing foreign uniforms. It was kind of strange like at the first of the season when you see new players together on the same team. Here is a list of just some of the other players that are on different teams since last week.

Nate Robinson
Chauncy Billups
Kendrick Perkins
Devin Harris
Gerlad Wallace
Aaron Brooks
Baron Davis
Anthony Carter
Jamario Moon
Kirk Hinrich
Mo Williams
Shane Battier
Goran Dragic

It's amazing how quick some players can adapt to a new team, coach, city, and environment. I feel bad for some of the NBA players who's careers have consisted of nothing but trades. It would suck to show up to your job and have your boss tell you that you have been traded to another company in a different city for someone else they want more. In my case they'd probably trade me for a copy machine or a jar of jelly beans.

Speaking of being an NBA foster child and bouncing from team to team, Drew Gooden has been in the league for 9 years and has played on 9 different teams!