NBA Conspiracy Theories

I haven't heard as much talk from basketball conspiracy theorists this year as I have in the past. Their theory is that the NBA wants the bigger teams to go to the finals and win the championship each year. They believe that teams like the Lakers, Bulls, and Knicks are more likely to advance because they make more money for "the man" because of their large fan base as opposed to smaller markets like the Jazz, Kings, and Grizzlies.

There are times when I see some bad calls which make me entertain the idea that a ref may want a particular outcome for the game.  I will admit that All stars and veterans get preferential treatment from the refs, but that's noting new. As much as I think the NBA would love to have the most popular teams with the biggest draw in the post season, I don't believe that games are thrown in an effort to get them to the finals.

As tempting as it is to give credence to some of these theories, I think many of them are promoted by disgruntled fans who's teams were eliminated from the play offs. The day the NBA starts to hire WWE refs, then I may change my mind on this topic. Even if the commissioner and the refs were trying to produce a particular outcome, I think it would just make a victory that much sweeter for the underdog teams.

Speaking of conspiracy theories, have you ever looked closely at the NBA lottery machine?  I heard there is a computer chip that controls it which is manufactured by a company which is owned by the Federal Reserved and the Illuminati.

NBA Finals- Finally

The NBA is finally down to the Dallas Mavericks and the Miami Heat. This should be a good rematch of the 2006 finals, but I can't believe we have to wait until Tuesday for the first game. I have a feeling if the NBA thought they could get away with extending the playoffs into July, they would try it.

I'm sure there are many bitter Cleveland fans who will cheering for Dallas. I still can't believe how ugly things got for Lebron when he left Cleveland. He was the icon of the city for so many years, then instantly became their worst enemy by choosing to continue his career with another team. I know there are many Miami haters out there, but I enjoy watching them play and I'd like to see Miami bring home another championship. That won't be an easy task for them if Dirk keeps playing like he has been.

I Wore Short Shorts...

I was a product of the 80's, so it was normal to wear John Stockton shorts. Nobody seemed to mind back then, since we didn't know any better. We figured if those shorts were good enough for Dr. J, Magic, and Bird, then they were good enough for us, too.

Despite my complacency with the style back then, there was one occasion when I felt a little uncomfortable. During my senior year in high school, I was invited to play in a county all-star game. I was the last guy to get there when they were handing out uniforms, so I got last pick. Despite being one of the bigger players, I ended up with the smallest pair of shorts. My teammates felt bad for me, but not bad enough to trade. That moment was preserved for posterity thanks to this photo (that's me trying to guard Goliath).

It's hard to get your kids to think you were cool when they see pictures of how short your shorts were. It's also hard to lecture them about modesty after they see that. I think today's styles have gone too far in the opposite direction. I feel like I'm wearing a tent when I try on the baggy short styles of today. I hate to say this, but I kind of like shorter shorts as long as you can wear spandex under them ala Kenny Sky Walker.

I know... you are thinking that is just as bad, but I don't care. At least I finally got rid of my striped knee high tube socks.

Basketball Screamers

I remember watching UNLV beat Duke for the 1990 NCAA championship. At one point during the game, Moses Scurry got a rebound and screamed like he had just been disemboweled.

What was funny about this was the fact that there was no one near him and he didn't even have to fight for the rebound, yet he gave out this intense yell like he had just killed his enemy in battle. That was the moment I started noticing screamers.

I enjoy seeing players who are passionate and intense, but sometimes they can go overboard. If you dunk over a defender during a last second play to win the game, then I think an emotional scream is expected, but the situation should warrant such a display of emotion. I don't want to hear any screams after a player makes both of his foul shots in the first quarter.

I've noticed that the Celtics are the worst offenders when it comes to this. I hate seeing Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnet beat their chest, scream, and scowl every time they make a good play or get an and one call. There are many other emotional players in the NBA who are known for this including Carlos Boozer, Kobe Bryant, Lebron James, and Joakim Noah.

When I see an amazing play, I have no problem with a player going primal and celebrating, but just make sure the play is worthy of the celebration.

To All The Haters

With the Maverik's recent sweep of the Lakers, I am reminded of how emotional fans can get towards certain teams and players. I never realized there were so many Laker haters out there.

When the Internet was new (right after Al Gore invented it), I remember checking out some sports chat rooms to see what they were all about. The conversations usually went like this:

Shaq is the best!
Whatever- David Robinson is better.
What? He's too soft. You are crazy to like the Spurs.
You're an idiot.
No, you are you stupid *%!#!
.....repeated 100 times back and forth and laced with profanity and misspelled words.

I guess message boards haven't changed much over time. I can't stand reading comments on YouTube highlights. Regardless of what the video shows, there are always stupid comments from critics who hate the player and have to vent their hatred. I've noticed this is very common for Lebron and Kobe fans going back and forth saying how bad the other player is.

I have some news for these brilliant commenters. The most pathetic player who rides the bench in the NBA is still better than 99% of the population when it comes to basketball skills. So when you comment and say that Kobe sucks, don't be ridiculous. You can say you don't like him, but how can anyone say that the 6th leading all time scorer in the NBA history sucks?

You are welcome to your opinions, but please use the proper descriptions to describe a player you are trying to bash. You can rip them for their looks, a poor game they had, because of the team they are on, or because you lost money betting on them, but please don't be so lazy and just say "they suck" just because you don't like them.

Unfair Ejection?

I'm not a Paul Pierce fan and I'd love to see Miami beat Boston, but I have to admit Pierce got a raw deal when he was thrown out of Sunday's game. His first technical foul came after he was hammered while trying to get a jump shot off after faking his defender into the air. He approached James Jones after the hard foul and got in his face. The contact he initiated could not be considered a head butt unless you are using soccer standards.

Later Pierce set a pick on Dwayne Wade and was given a technical for "verbal taunting" after the collision. I have never seen a player tossed quicker for doing less in my life (unless you count Tim Duncan being ejected by Joey Crawford for laughing while sitting on the bench.)

Watching the replay and seeing the ref's quick and exaggerated body language reminded me of an umpire throwing out an angry manager after he's been arguing and carrying on in front of the fans. I had a feeling he was just itching to toss someone.

As unfair as some think this may have been, it is still a good thing since it will make the playoffs more exciting and has primed the pump for all the conspiracy theorists to come out of the woodwork.

NBA Player Look A Likes

I've noticed that some NBA players have uncanny resemblances to certain celebrities.  I really think the guys below are dead ringers for their evil twins. If you were going to make a movie about the NBA, these are the guys I'd cast for the part since they seem to have been separated at birth.

Aaron Brookes and Chris Rock

Kyle Korver and Ashton Kutcher

Robert Horry and Will Smith

Andrei Kirelinko and Dolph Lundgren

Manu Ginobli and Bronson Pinchot